Comedy in the time of COVID-19 is a weird thing.

On one hand, comedians are, generally speaking, a socially awkward crowd. Had you asked us a month ago about avoiding crowds over 50, I guarantee you at least half of us would have made the same “that’s 10 times more people than the last open mic I did” joke. And the other half would have politely laugh-reacted to the post (because we were also practicing social distancing way before it was cool, or even recommended…).

But we, like so many others in the entertainment industry, thrive on social connection. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I want to chat with tens of people a night, but I find joy in making others laugh – in connecting with a crowd and, equally as important, with other comics. Comedians are like Tinker Bell, only, somehow, slightly more maladjusted – we need the laughter to live. And now even the crickets are practicing social distancing (or they really, really hated my last set).

So, with that in mind, here is a brief guide to social distancing, for comedians.

Write New Material

Like the veggies in your fridge you promised yourself you’d cook but then ordered Uber Eats instead, jokes get stale. And stale jokes suck for two reasons: first, we don’t deliver stale jokes with the same enthusiasm we reserve for material we are excited about. Second, it’s easier to get laughs with fresh jokes, especially if your audience consists of the same eight comics you see at every open mic.

Try a Different Style of Comedy

We all have dreams beyond open mics. Mine is to write for a late night show, like Last Week Tonight or Full Frontal or Late Night with Seth Meyers. Others may dream of Netflix specials and sold out shows. Others still may dream of playing second fiddle to Kate McKinnon on Saturday Night Live. Achieving those goals means branching out comedy-wise. So pick up your pen, try something new, and run it past your comic friends (via text, of course).

Support Your Friends

We’re all struggling here. Like and share posts, get caught up on your friend’s YouTube channel (bonus: it also gives them views!), and reach out to your friends who may be in at-risk groups or who may find social isolation challenging. Now is a great time to reinforce the fact that our community is amazing.

Tell Jokes to Your Pets

I mean, you can’t get fewer laughs than I did at Barcadia that one time.

If All Else Fails…Download a Laugh Track

Still hungry for laughs? Well, does Spotify every have the playlist for you. Just download it and behold! There is laughter again!